From the “Gulag Archipelago Volume II”:
There is a famous camp anecdote about a sentenced woman who for a long time could not get through her head why the prosecutor and judge at her trial had kept calling her “konny militsioner” (a mounted policeman), which was what she understood of “kontr-revolyutsioner” (a counterrevolutionary)! As one who has served time in camps and looked about, I can see this anecdote as fact.
A tailor laying aside his needle stuck it into a newspaper on the wall so it wouldn’t get lost and happened to stick it in the eye of a portrait of Kaganovich. A customer observed this: Article 58, ten years (terrorism).
A saleswoman accepting merchandise from a forwarder noted it down on a sheet of newspaper. There was no other paper. The number of pieces of soap happened to fall on the forehead of Comrade Stalin. Article 58, ten years.
A tractor driver of the Znamenka Machinery and Tractor Station lined his thin shoes for warmth with a pamphlet about the candidate for elections to the Supreme Soviet, but a charwoman noticed it was missing (she was responsible for the leaflets) and found out who had it. KRA-Counter-Revolutionary Agitation-ten years.
The village club manager went with his watchman to buy a bust of Comrade Stalin, They bought it. The bust was big and heavy. They ought to have carried it in a hand barrow, both of them together, but the manager’s status did not allow him to. “All right, you’ll manage it if you take it slowly.” And he went off ahead. The old watchman couldn’t work out how to do it for a long time. If he tried to carry it at his side; he couldn’t get his arm around it. If he tried to carry it in front of him, his back hurt and he was thrown off balance backward. Finally he figured out how to do it. He took off his belt made a noose for Comrade Stalin, put it around his neck, and in this way carried it over his shoulder through the village. Well, there was nothing here to argue about. It was an open-and-shut case. Article 58-8, terrorism, ten years.
A sailor sold an Englishman a ”Katyusha” cigarette lighter-a wick in a piece of pipe with a striking wheel-as a souvenir for one pound sterling. Subversion of the Motherland’s dignity-58, ten years.
A shepherd in a fit of anger swore at a cow for not obeying: “You collective farm wh–!” And he got 58, and a term.
Ellochka Svirskaya sang a ditty at an amateur concert which just barely touched on something sensitive. And this was open rebellion! 58, ten years.
A deaf and dumb carpenter got a term for counterrevolutionary agitation! How? He was laying floors in a club. Everything had been removed from a big hall, and there was no nail or hook anywhere. While he was working, he hung his jacket and his service cap on a bust of Lenin. Someone came in and saw it. 58, ten years.